I saw a viral video of how a married woman confronted a side-chic over her husband’s act of infidelity towards her as a wife. A lot of reactions and comments flying here and there on social media; People airing their views and opinions on this subject matter. Some comments were good, some were bad while some were really funny. However, I’m dedicating this piece to all strong women out there who paused their dreams at some point in life because of a man.

Most times we seem to forget our self-worth; we tend to crawl back into our shell whenever life hits us hard. It’s okay if we do that but for how long? Looking good is a good business, staying in shape and looking all hot and sexy for your man after having some kids with him is still okay but after that what happens next?

Before you met that man you, had some dreams and life goals you wanted to achieve, what happened to them? Have you ever asked yourself- What is my personality? Who am I and what do I have to offer?

Most women only move around with the consciousness of “I’m a Lady” neglecting the aura that comes with the sense of purpose behind “Being a Lady”. Do you even know your worth as a woman? Do you carry yourself with confidence? Do you study or work hard to add value to yourself and family? It’s a pity that some women don’t even know their rights and privileges as a woman, that is why you let yourself get tossed around by your man.

For the married women, I have a question for you- do you have any identity outside your husband? If your answer is “Yes”- Great!! You deserve some accolades but if your answer is “No” that is because you abandoned your dreams and drives at the altar of marriage. This defines why you appear insignificant the moment your husband starts drifting away from his commitment to you as a wife.

It is every woman’s desire to be loved, treasured and respected. For you to enjoy this, Self-development and Capacity building has a vital role to play. The mistake most women make is tying that knot with your man when you haven’t answered the basic questions you need to ask yourself as a woman- “What is my personality? Who am I? and What do I have to offer?”  Stepping into that marriage“Empty in terms of purpose” can be frustrating and disastrous.  If I must put it this way, “You cheated yourself even before the man cheated on you”. A piece of advice- Never abandon your dreams and life goals on the altar of marriage. Life is a school, you only graduate when you die therefore don’t stop building and developing yourself (mentally) even after marriage.

You might base the excuse on your negligence on you having kids and all that… “kids are hard work” Yes, we know!! They are really adorable!! but you shouldn’t lose yourself either. It is your due diligence to balance your life goals with your family duties. You should make it a personal task to always be on top of your games. There are lots of successful mothers with great impacts on the society as well as in their homes.

The war against side-chics shouldn’t be a physical confrontation just like the woman in the viral video did. You can only win this war when step up your games on your role as a “wife” and as a “woman of purpose”. Be that intellectual and irresistible woman who knows her worth and has value to offer besides “sex”.  Be that woman whom a man is afraid to cheat on because he doesn’t want to lose her. Be that uncommon woman which a man cannot easily replace with any other because your qualities are rare to come by.

 It is a proven fact that 80 % men are polygamous in nature and no matter how sophisticated their woman is, they still derive pleasure in cheating. Real men are attracted to intelligent ladies and women of wisdom. Can your man confidently discuss a disturbing business deal with you because he trusts your wise judgement? Can you make a logical and meaningful input in controversial situations?

 Therefore, I will urge all the strong women who sacrificed their dreams and life-goals on the altar of marriage or gave up on their dreams along the line because of a man; Yeah! I understand your pain and frustration but you need to dust yourself up, pick up whatever is left of you…go back to wherever you abandoned your dreams- Step by step, re-visit them one after another. Any man who claims he loves you will always support your visions for your life as woman. He won’t make you give up on your dreams because you chose to settle for him.

Finally, build your self-esteem by being conscious of your worth and who you are. Strive to be that irreplaceable; also worthy of note- live for yourself, your goals and your interests with this you have this inner fulfillment and happiness in you.